my feminist quest to have an honest conversation & exchange of ideas with sexist men (and women)!!

so as a feminist college student, I’ve been checking out the blogs of my fellow feminists (like my favorite endlessly awesome feminist blog, jezebel- but um while I love jezebel — cuz it’s fucking hilarious and its cheeky snarkiness makes me laugh (one Jezebel article title was: Um, Is This Kanye West’s Penis? And Why Does It Make Me Sad?) hahah…see what I mean? :p

…the fact is that I think this kind of mean-spirited feminist snark is well…just not very helpful for feminists to have an honest conversation and exchange of ideas with sexist men on the issue of sexism and feminism, you know? I mean to be fair tho, I get that feminists are trying to confront sexism and misogyny with a sense of humor. — but calling sexist men names or just insulting them or making fun of them or whatever (while very entertaining lol) — it pretty much cuts off any opportunities to actually like talk to each other in a productive way about these issues. also – like on Twitter, every time I see a self-identified feminist talking to some sexist dude, the feminist is always calling the sexist dude a “douchebag,” an “asshole,” or a “sexist fucking pig” or something — and sexist men are doing the same thing too — calling women “feminazis” and “fembots” or other various colorful and creative names like what a sexist Twitter dude called me once — “an insufferable thunder cunt.” lol.

I know some people might be thinking (especially my fellow feminists) — um, why the fuck would feminists ever want to actually listen to the perspective of sexist men (and women) when we already know they’re batshit crazy?? well, my answer to that is I don’t think that all sexist men (and women) are batshit crazy… I mean, I really believe that feminists and sexist men (and women) can learn a lot from each other — if only we can get to a place where we are willing to put down our dukes and just actually listen to what the other has to say, and ask them for their opinions and then ask why the other believes what they do about sexism and feminism, and basically try to understand where each other is coming from — I think that would be awesome, cuz then we can start to take down these arbitrary walls that separate us, and like, start to build a bridge of understanding that can only lead to positive things. to that end, I welcome comments here on my blog from sexist dudes (and women) to have an open dialogue about this stuff. let’s stop getting mad at each other all the time, and instead let’s just talk to each other like human beings. So hey, sexist men:  I’d like to talk to you! I’m interested in what you have to say, and I’m happy to listen to your perspectives on sexism and feminism. I mean, let’s be friends, u know?

so I’ve been bravely going where few feminists have gone before…I’m reaching out to sexist dudes on the internet and trying to talk to them and have a conversation with them about sexism. I’ve been doing this mostly through twitter, but also by commenting on sexist blogs too — see my comments on this sexist blog, Barstool Sports – about how toxic definitions of masculinity are damaging boys and men and causing them depression, pain, and anxiety – and I also challenged racism there as well. I think my comments are at the bottom of that link, or you can just do a search for “superflygirl” on that page. hahah…my comments were sooo long on that sexist blog, I plan to create a separate blog post here out of them!! lol.

By the way, on the topic of toxic definitions of masculinity – here’s a trailer to a new 2014 documentary about the harm caused by toxic definitions of masculinity called “The Mask You Live In.”

Also watch this amazing TED Talk by former NFL football player Joe Ehrmann – where Joe says that the 3 most destructive and toxic words that can be said to boys/men are “Be a Man.” As a former NFL football player/linebacker, Joe Ehrmann is the quintessential “tough guy” — a big, tall, strong man, who was a professional NFL player. Yet Joe is saying that the macho stereotype behind the sexist phrase, “Be a man” is actually TOXIC and DANGEROUS to boys and men.

so my first few attempts to try to have a conversation with sexist men have been very interesting…so far I’ve talked to about 12 sexist dudes on twitter about sexism, and like 11 out of 12 ran away from me and blocked me — and 1 sexist guy threatened to beat me up by sending me this tweet with the caption, “Hi Ashley.”

and this other sexist guy was like goading the first sexist dude to attack me, and he tweeted “Please bang some sense into her” — like in the spirit of “we need to teach this feminist bitch a lesson so she will shut the fuck up” by sending that tweet to him. then they blocked me.

yeah so um, that didn’t work out so well, lol.

but then I tried again recently and I just had a really long and interesting series of conversations about sexism and feminism on Twitter  with 2 sexist men Karl @RadishMag and Shadow @AShadowedKnight  and 1 sexist woman Mary @SunshineMarySSM  and  that went much better, I think. at least so far, these sexist dudes and sexist woman haven’t blocked me yet, hahah.

all 3 of them Karl @RadishMag  Shadow @AShadowedKnight  Mary @SunshineMarySSM seem quite nice and intelligent – Shadow @AShadowedKnight – seemed quite interested in sharing his sexist beliefs with me, and hit me with literally like 80 tweets — and he too, was intelligent, although he also said stuff like “women don’t fuck, they get fucked.” Ultimately, tho, Shadow had a good sense of humor, and I liked him, as I also liked Karl @RadishMag and @SunshineMarySSM.  More on Shadow @AShadowedKnight in my next blog post.

So Mary @SunshineMarySSM is a sexist woman –  who even tho she earned several graduate degrees, is a pro-patriarchy housewife — Mary writes a sexist blog that is so extreme that she even scares sexist men — one sexist dude on Twitter said he likes Mary’s blog, but the shit she writes is so radical, he’s afraid to re-tweet her – that probably is because Mary believes that divorce should be illegal, and adultery and sex before marriage (“fornication”) should be against the law and punishable offenses (I assume she means jail time) .

But I like sexist Mary…she’s intelligent, and witty, and she has a good sense of humor. More on Mary in my next blog post.

so I was pleasantly surprised by these sexist men’s (and 1 sexist woman’s) willingness to talk to me about sexism (knowing i’m a feminist), listen to my feminist views, and also share and discuss their sexist beliefs, as part of an open dialogue with each other.

when I first started my feminist quest, my boyfriend (who is also a feminist) was like, “Don’t do it! It’s too dangerous…cuz crazy sexist dudes.”

and honestly….I also kind of assumed most sexist men would immediately threaten to rape me or something if I tried to talk to them about feminism and sexism — but that wasn’t the case at all !!!

i mean, like, WHO KNEW?? and my feminist brain was like:

I have to tell you, I was shocked (shocked, I tell you!!!)  to discover that yeah, not ALL sexist men are insane, slobbering, knuckle-dragging would-be rapists!!  it was a pleasant surprise.

even with the 11 sexist guys who ended up blocking me on Twitter, many of them had long conversations with me about sexism and their views on feminist issues, such as rape and consent, etc. I think the key factor was that I didn’t call them names or make sarcastic, snide comments to them, and I was friendly and I didn’t attack them, you know?

um, but back to the sexist dude, Karl – in addition to being quite bright — for a sexist dude, Karl @RadishMag seems quite decent, since he said that he does not support violence against women or anyone threatening violence against someone else just because they have a different opinion — related to how one sexist guy I talked to threatened to beat me up, as I referenced above.  i think he’s like 24 or 25, cuz I asked him if he’s a college student like me and he said he’s a couple years older? his twitter tagline says he’s a part of the “Thomas Carlyle Club for Young Reactionaries.” i don’t know what that is, I guess i’ll have to google it later. so sexist Karl also has a fun, almost sweet sense of humor — he told me he sees himself as a cuddly wriggly ferret and further informed me that it’s “a little known fact that ferrets smell like cuddles.” then when I channeled my inner mean girl and I said, “You do realize that a ferret is a fucking weasel with nasty little pointy teeth, right?” he tweeted back, “A cute little fuzzy weasel? I can live with that” and he posted this pic of a baby ferret, which I have to admit, looked pretty damn cute, hahah.

now of course I’m not an idiot — I realize Karl might just be trying to fuck me or he could actually turn out to be evil and he’s just turning on the charm so that he can eventually kill me and wear my skin…but it was still nice to have a cordial conversation with a sexist dude, you know?

Karl @RadishMag writes a sexist blog where he talks about his sexist beliefs, like how he believes that the birth control pill and no-fault divorce have killed female monogamy  — so clearly, friends, he is um…a little wrong-headed…but even so: one amazing thing was that sexist Karl @RadishMag agreed to read the feminist book, “The Feminine Mystique” by Betty Friedan – which discuses how 50’s era housewives were bored, depressed, and lonely in their “feminine role” of stay at home mom (and how many women feel having children/being a housewife is not enough to be

happy in life).

— Karl @RadishMag and I made a deal that if he reads this feminist book (“The Feminine Mystique), that I suggested to him — then I will read some sexist book called “Defense of Women” by Henry Mencken that he suggested to me.

Karl @RadishMag said he would check out a copy of the Feminine Mystique from the university library that very night, and he even suggested that we go “chapter for chapter” on both books and discuss them!

So he’s reading chapter 1 of the feminist book and i’m reading chapter 1 of his sexist book. in this battle of ideology between feminists and sexist men…I think this is an amazing and encouraging, positive 1st step towards understanding where each other is coming from, and I think it’s awesome!!

oh man, this blog post is fucking crazy long, so I think i’ll leave things here…i’ll write more about my Twitter conversations with the other sexist Twitter guy Shadow @AShadowedKnight  and the sexist Twitter woman Mary @SunshineMarySSM —  both were quite nice too, but I don’t have room to go into detail here.

hahah…as a teaser preview of my next post tho, I will say this:  things went a little off the rails in my last few Twitter conversations with the sexist Shadow @AShadowedKnight  and sexist Mary @SunshineMarySSM and Karl @RadishMag — I started tweeting about vaginas and how we need to realize all vaginas are beautiful and challenge vagina shame — which is totally a feminist issue — and I posted videos of the feminist play “The Vagina Monologues”

so all my vagina talk  seemed to really freak out Shadow @AShadowedKnight — cuz he accused me of trolling them — but Mary @SunshineMarySSM seemed to have more of a sense of humor about it tho.

Damn, why does that word “vagina” scare so many sexist men, I wonder?

Until next time, cats and kittens!

* Hit me up on Twitter!! (or follow me!!) at:   @superflygirrrl5


27 thoughts on “my feminist quest to have an honest conversation & exchange of ideas with sexist men (and women)!!

  1. Definitely read the Mencken book. And all joking aside, Karl is a nice person and was not trying to f— you. That was just my offbeat sense of humor, which I’m glad to see you also have.

    Now, I would happily reread the Feminine Mystique and do a chapter-by-chapter discussion group. We could host it at my blog or yours if you like – my blog gets a lot of traffic and you could meet a few more of those sexist-types that seem to interest you…

    In any event, I’ll leave you with this for your reading amusement:

    Hump Day lite reading: “My vagina is beautiful” and other classy feminist memes.

    • hey Mary!!! @SunshineMarySSM – 😀 nice to hear from you, babe!! and thanks for your comment 🙂

      I put your Twitter handle here in case people would like to follow you & your blog too

      hahah…and yeah, I totally realize that Karl @RadishMag is just a nice guy, and he’s not trying to fuck me or anything. I was just joking around…honestly, Karl sounds like a super-sweet guy (for a sexist dude, lol) how he patiently and sweetly encourages me to get my mind out of the gutter, lol. as the foul-mouthed feminist that I am, I kinda feel like i’m corrupting HIM actually!!! lol 🙂

      and girl, I love your off-beat sense of humor…I can see you have some cheeky spark in you as well, lol — you’re irreverent, intelligent, and witty…always my favorite combination in a person (hey great minds think alike right!!) hahah

      and omg, Mary!!! – that’s a GREAT IDEA to like start a sort of feminist/sexist book club and organize a discussion group to re-read “The Feminine Mystique” and do a chapter-by-chapter discussion together!!!!

      I would love that — thank you for suggesting it babe!!! 😀

      * why are you so awesome, Mary?? lol 🙂 *

      um and thank you for your offer to host the book club/discussion group at your blog — yeah let’s do that!!! 🙂

      cuz i’m thinking since you already get a lot of traffic on your blog ( and my blog is too new to have many readers) – it’s a perfect opportunity to bring this discussion to a large group of readers who are interested on this topic, and have strong feelings & opinions that they can share & we can have an open exchange of different ideas & everything!!

      and yeah, I would love to meet more sexist men (hahah that sounds weird, I kno!! lol) and women on your blog, so I can learn more about why they hold the beliefs that they do and stuff.

      I know a few sexist men that I met on Twitter that I could invite to the discussion too — you may already know them, but still it’s all good, I figure.

      I wonder if Karl @RadishMag would be willing to join our discussion group on your blog too? can you ask him, please? cuz I dunno, Karl hasn’t been on Twitter the last couple days, and idk, maybe I scared him off with all my vagina talk?? hahahh…I hope not, cuz I really like the dude 🙂

      thank you again, Mary, for this wonderful suggestion to do this chapter-by-chapter discussion group, I think it’s an amazing idea, and i’m totally down!!

      lol and thanx for the link to your blog on your “Vaginas are Beautiful” blog post — much obliged!!! hahah i’ll read it and comment, if that’s ok?

      k girl, hit me up here or on Twitter to let me know when you’d like to make this happen for the book club idea!!

      – Ashley 🙂

      p.s. man, my response to your comment basically almost turned into another blog, eh? hahha

    • hey hipster!! 🙂 thanks for your comment & nice to meet u babe! always nice to make a new sexist male friend, hahah…what’s your Twitter handle, btw? i’ll follow you & you should follow me so I can learn more about your perspectives on sexism/feminism, and we can talk more!! 😀

      um so sure, i’ll ask you a question, if you like, or several questions, actually.

      1) what do you think of feminism, and how do you think it has affected men in today’s society and modern relationships?

      2) why do you consider yourself a sexist?

      3) if you have children, are you raising your kids to be sexist as well? if yes, how so, and why?

      i’d be interested in your answers, my friend.

      p.s. I see you have a blog — i’ll start reading it, to learn more about your opinions on sexism & stuff.

      • 1) what do you think of feminism, and how do you think it has affected men in today’s society and modern relationships?

        Feminism was created by the wealthy elite in order to drive women out of the home, tax their work, lower their husband’s wages, and lower fertility. There’s a long record of open statements by the wealthy elite and their feminist lackeys saying all this pretty openly.

        As for personal relationships – I mean no disrespect, but I honestly believe this due to my own experiences – most feminists fighting “rape culture” and “objectification of women” and the like are submissives in deep denial about their own sexuality. They are simply embarrassed that they like spankings, BDSM, and 50 Shades of Grey. They are embarrassed about their own rape/ravishment fantasies and fight their own feminine, submissive natures. I really have a lot of sympathy for women like this, because I have known so many of them.

        2) why do you consider yourself a sexist?

        Because men and women are different.

        3) if you have children, are you raising your kids to be sexist as well? if yes, how so, and why?

        Most of the women in my family are even more sexist than I am.

        Hope you like the blog! Lots of cool music.

  2. Your boyfriend would like me. I hang out with feminist men…and they don’t find me dangerous.

    Insane maybe….but that keeps them listening to my charming rants.

    The horrible truth I’ve found though…old sexist me is actually loved and respected more by the women at work than the feminist men. They’ve told me this before…because I come up with plans, make my decisions quick, and don’t bitch about pointless stuff.

  3. Hello dear Ashley,
    I have extended your kind invitation to participate in a feminist/sexist book club to Karl and his readers. I will get a copy of the book The Feminine Mystique and give it a quick reread and try to have a thread going for this within the next week or so. I’ll bring the sexists if you will bring the feminists.

  4. Pingback: The Feminist-Sexist Book Discussion Group: “The Feminine Mystique” | Sunshine Mary

  5. Ashley- I hope you will take some time to read Radish Mag. I bet I’ve spent more than 50 hours going through some of the information there and it is oh so much more than a “sexist blog.” I’d also like to know, if you happen to find out, or anyone else reading knows: Is RadishMag written by only one person? If so that man would have to be at least 40 to have even had to TIME to learn and understand all that is written there. If you really tweeted with the author of RadishMag you had a chance to talk with a very intelligent individual and it seems you didn’t even realize it! In my humble opinion he is someone to be held in high regard whether you agree with him or not- his blog contains more historical information than any other I have seen- presented in an entertaining format- its really quite a gem. Anyway- I hope you will carry on the book challenge with Karl and Mary. I am going to attempt to participate in the discussion as well. Although I tend to lurk more than comment. I appreciate your engaging with Sunshine- I like that blog and look forward to seeing your comments there.

  6. This is going to be interesting. I can’t commit to reading The Feminine Mystique at the systematic pace proposed, but with Sunshine Mary and Radish participating, the sexist side will be capably represented. For my part, I will probably binge-read both the book and the ensuing discussion at irregular intervals.

    You seem genuinely interested in a good-faith exchange of ideas, so I don’t want to poison the exchange from the outset. I’ll just say this: if you manage to keep your side of the discussion firmly planted in logic and reason (logos), rather than running to emotion (pathos) or credibility (ethos), I will be impressed.

    As an aside, “sexist” would not be my first choice of self-description, but rather as a sex-realist or sex-essentialist. I know that most feminists and your near-associates prefer to distinguish between biological sex and gender identification, but as I do not recognize the sex-gender distinction as having much validity, I use the terms interchangeably. The sexes are biologically distinct, and they are not interchangeable. Individual variation may give some females some masculine qualities, and vice versa, but as a societal question, men and women should be recognized as fundamentally different, and treated differently. To do otherwise leads to social dysfunction and disintegration.

    If this viewpoint, which is virtually universally held in all cultures, in all places, for all of recorded history, except for the developed Western world post-1960, is now considered sexist, then yes, I am a sexist.

    Good luck to you. Intentionally or unintentionally, I’m sure all parties will learn quite a bit.

  7. As another sexist woman, I am also excited about this. ^-^ Always nice to see the other side.

    I’m going to throw a short version of my story out here for you, Ashley, so you can get some perspective on why a woman would identify as sexist (although I imagine SSM has explained her own story to you).

    It started (super oddly enough) with the cheezburger-network site “Dating Fails” – they had posted a link to a Christian blog offering Christian sex-tips, intending it as a sort of, “haha, look at the prudes trying to talk about sex!” The site was “To Love, Honor and Vacuum” by Sheila Gregoire, and I checked it out because I thought she was genuinely funny. (I was not a Christian myself at this time) From there, Sheila linked to Dalrock’s blog, which was my first site in what ‘they’ call the “Manosphere.” He was also Christian and asserted the value of gender roles (what you would call sexism) but his blog primarily discussed modern women, the consequences of feminism, modern marriage and the like. I liked Dalrock pretty instantly, but I confess a lot of his commenters initially struck me as bitter, angry, nasty, mcmean old misogynists! Several other manosphere cites originally struck me the same way, so I avoided a lot of them, but I kept reading Dalrock. As I read, I began to understand more and more how the consequences of feminism (much of which is Female supremicism, sometimes covert, sometimes overt) had really bullocksed up life and culture for everyone, including women. The angry, mean old commenters didn’t seem so mean any more – I understood they had reason to be angry – GOOD reason – and while there are always a few sour grapes and a few hotheads, the vast majority commented to let off some steam and then help others.

    I now read several manosphere sites, including (and especially) Sunshinemary’s and I mostly lurk, posting here and there every great while or so. However, I figured you might appreciate another female voice, and another example that not ALL sexists are men.

    * I would link to all the blogs referenced, but I know lots of links can often wind a post up in moderation. Still, every site I mentioned should be easily found via a quick google search.

  8. You seem like a lovely person. Please be careful with these people you are now talking to online. They are being nice to you because you have a pretty photograph and are so sweet. Don’t make the mistake of believing they are nice people.You would run screaming from them in real life. Go and read the blog of Sunshine Mary. She is an extremist who wants the vote taken away from women. There are people who write comments on her blog who believe it’s justified to hit a woman. They believe females live in herds and have no individuality and so the law should treat them like children. This woman has even argued that polygamy should be legal, to stop women from having any say in their marriages. She attracts women who are victims of domestic violence who think that if they behaved better, their husbands wouldn’t hit them. She attracts men who claim they take sexual advantage of women as a hobby.

    Look at what Hipster Racist has already said on your own blog, that women like being overpowered. He thinks when girls say they have been raped, they mean they got drunk and had sex and now they regret it. He doesn’t believe husbands can rape wives – if a husband overpowers a wife against her will that’s the man’s right.

    Go and read through her blog and read the blogs who are linked to her. It will make you sick. Please think twice before you get involved with these people.

    • I know why Vanessa has to lie – because that’s essentially all the left has: slander, libel, and strawmen.

      Look at what Hipster Racist has already said on your own blog, that women like being overpowered.

      It’s as if she’s never read a bodice ripper before.

      He thinks when girls say they have been raped, they mean they got drunk and had sex and now they regret it.

      Most of the time, that’s exactly what really happened. Vanessa wants us to believe that women never lie, and they are always innocent victims of men. Of course, women are JUST people – they are not special snowflakes or perfect goddesses. It’s feminists that insult actual victims of rape by pretending that a drunken hookup is rape.

      He doesn’t believe husbands can rape wives – if a husband overpowers a wife against her will that’s the man’s right.

      She’s lying, I have never said any such thing. This is what leftists do – they lie, because the truth is not on their side

      She wants you to be scared to talk to us, because you’ll find out we’re pretty normal, well meaning people. Then, the left’s lies fall apart, because all they can do is demonize their opponents.

  9. Yet another sexist pig here. Oink, oink!

    I would define the patriarchy as a system designed to protect children and promote the virtues necessary for maintaining a civilization.
    In my post here, I have defined the Patriarchy as the following:
    1) Imposing social constraints against promiscuity as a way of promoting monogamy. Without monogamy, you really don’t have a civilization – in a sexual free-for-all, inevitably humans switch to polygyny which causes violence and social decay.
    2) Aiding young men and women through the courtship process to result in better spousal selection decisions. This is to prevent young women from marrying abusive thugs and young men from marrying gold diggers.
    3) Protecting the institution of marriage.
    4) Promoting the leadership of the husband within the family unit to foster marital harmony. The husband needs to be the Head of the House. Egalitarian marriages don’t work; both men and women are miserable in such marriages. This is something that even liberal websites are now talking about.
    5) Raising boys and girls with the skills necessary to become good husbands and wives, fathers and mothers so that the entire cycle (1 to 5) can be repeated again in the next generation.

  10. Just for a point of reference, Mencken’s book was first published in 1918. Women weren’t able to vote nationally until 1920. It wasn’t until 1980 that women turned out to vote in equal numbers to men.

  11. How…delightful! A cheerful feminist. It’s as exciting as spotting an Evening Grosbeak in my back yard!

    I wouldn’t call myself a sexist–I’m not even sure what that means. But I’m opposed to feminism; I’ve seen how much it has hurt everyone in Western society. I feel sorry for feminists.

    BTW, years ago I had a long discussion of Friedan’s book with a feminist college professor. She’s the head of the “American Studies” department at a highly respected private college. She admitted that she couldn’t refute any of my arguments…but I suspect she was hoping I’d make a large donation to my alma mater. Not a fair contest.

    Maybe I’ll throw in my 2 cents over at SSM’s place. If I can find my copy of TFM.

  12. Would you call me “sexist”? I am anti-feminist and think sex roles are beneficial. I believe in equality under the law for men and women. In other words, no special privileges or treatment for women by the government. Does that qualify as “sexist” to you?

    It’s good that you are seeking out real conversation with people who oppose your worldview. More people should do that. Peace!

  13. Vanessa,

    How are you doing? As a former bachelor beta-male who was pro-feminist (now a full-fledged married alpha male who loves his wife and is also very sexist) I would like to respond to some of your comments….

    You seem like a lovely person. Please be careful with these people you are now talking to online. They are being nice to you because you have a pretty photograph and are so sweet.

    We are being nice to her because this is a valuable conversation that can bridge the gap between feminism and sexism.

    Don’t make the mistake of believing they are nice people.You would run screaming from them in real life. Go and read the blog of Sunshine Mary. She is an extremist who wants the vote taken away from women.

    As do I. I don’t see any reason why women should vote. In fact, they should not. And there is good reason for this.

    Democracy and politically empowering women is a dangerous (and very expensive) game. It tends to financially DOOM a Democratic society. That is because men and women do not think the same regarding money and government spending. I would like you to listen to this…

    Ann Coulter spells it right out Vanessa. The moment an individual state gave women the vote (prior to the 19th Amendment), spending in that state went through the roof as women voted for representatives who promised the most entitlements. Ann freely admits that too many of her own gender refuse to acknolwedge that money is finite and that government simply can’t pay for everything. This is something that men understand that women (typically) do not. Men and women are not the same.

    Giving women the vote has led us to fiscal ruin Vanessa. This is data.

    There are people who write comments on her blog who believe it’s justified to hit a woman.

    Yes and no.

    Vanessa have you ever seen a man hit another man? You ever seen a man punch another man? You think anyone on Mary’s blog would ever feel like that is justified, a man hitting a woman the way a man hits a man? No Vanessa. No sexist man would say that. If she is screaming like a raving lunatic, how about an open handed face slap with about 5% of a man’s physical power? And ONLY from the woman’s husband or her father if she isn’t married. Does that equal a man belting a woman Mike Tyson style? You tell me Vanessa.

    More to the point, some women enjoy being spanked by a man. What made that movie “Secretary” so popular, is that it correctly dramatized the inner desire that many women have towards being submissive toward men. She wanted (dare I say NEEDED) to be spanked. To her, that was love.

    They believe females live in herds and have no individuality and so the law should treat them like children.

    Women travel in packs. They do not travel as singletons. How often do you seem women in a mall alone? How about never. And women quite think in herd mentality.

    I treated my second fiance like a child. And you know why? It was not that I didn’t love her. It was because she wasn’t responsible enough to handle her own credit cards. When I met her she was $20K in the hole with nothing to show for it but a boat load of excuses (all of them in her mind good, but none of them justified her spending.) So I had to start treating her like a child to get her back on a budget for us to have a life together. This type of behavior (with men and women) is not uncommon but has to happen in many marriages or else the marriage fails due to her hypergamous spending and antics.

    It is not that women aren’t individuals. They most certainly are. But men and women are different. Men lead women. Without male headship, women quite often tend to do things that are very destructive in their own lives (and very destructive in marriages.)

    This woman has even argued that polygamy should be legal, to stop women from having any say in their marriages. She attracts women who are victims of domestic violence who think that if they behaved better, their husbands wouldn’t hit them. She attracts men who claim they take sexual advantage of women as a hobby.

    The majority of Mary’s male posters are married men who love their wives, divorced men whose wives ruined them (due to man’s laws empowering a woman’s hypergamous antics), or Christian men who have never been married but someday might want to be. You aren’t going to find many players at her site, and the ones that DO post there, she goes out of her way to try and show them the error of their ways. I don’t think many people agree with Mary’s support of polygamy (I don’t) and I don’t know of ANY women who post there that are victims of domestic violence.

    Tell me Vanessa, what is Domestic Violence to you? Is there any action a woman could take (anything at all) that would (in your mind) justify a man slapping her? Anything at all?

    Look at what Hipster Racist has already said on your own blog, that women like being overpowered.

    Don’t you? Aren’t you sexually attracted to men who are forceful? Be honest. Because I’ve known a lot of women over the years and in pretty much every case, they desire men that are forceful towards them.

    He thinks when girls say they have been raped, they mean they got drunk and had sex and now they regret it. He doesn’t believe husbands can rape wives – if a husband overpowers a wife against her will that’s the man’s right.

    A husband cannot rape his wife. That is impossible. That is impossible because the wife’s body belongs to the husband. She is his property. Her body is his. That is marriage.

    Are you married Vanessa? If you are, why did you marry this man if you weren’t willing to surrender your body to him? Why do that? Why get married at all if you aren’t willing to submit at all times any time he commands you? Was it just his ability to acquire resources for you? If that is the case (his only use is as your mule), then yours is not a marriage, you hate men, and nothing I have to say will ever make sense to you.

    And if you are not married (but someday you might like to be) why wouldn’t you submit to your husband at all times? Why wouldn’t you obey him? Why would you marry a man you wouldn’t obey?

  14. I”m yet another you would consider to be sexist, impressed by your willingness to engage in open dialog.

    In some ways Sunshine Mary (SSM for short) is too radical for me, too. However, I do respect her and encourage you to listen to what she has to say.

    I think that whaver any of us might believe that it’s important to remember that we’re all people, that most of us really want what’s best and merely disagree on what “best” is. Your blog (although you’ve posted videos with which I strongly disagree) recognizes that, so if you got any questions, I’m among those you can ask.

  15. What constitutes sexism?

    Is it the claim that men and women are very different psychologically and physically, and because they have (statistically) different natures, then the default behavior towards men and women ought to be different?

    The claim that because male chimpanzees and male humans share more DNA in common than human men and women, that anyone who doesn’t believe gender differences are substantially biological must be deeply anti-science?

    The claim that if evolution works, it necessarily evolves different physical and psychological profiles for males and females, and that to deny that is an opposition to evolution itself?

    Color me a sexist.

    Does it mean something else? What then…I would be happy to decide, upon a definition, whether I qualify

  16. Pingback: An Analysis of The Feminine Mystique, Chapter 1 - Stares at the World

  17. Bravo for doing this.

    By the way, Karl and Mary are not just some random sexists, they are possibly the foremost intellectual heavyweights for the sexist side. The sexist A-team, so to speak. You’ll want to get some really smart feminists involved as well to really liven things up. If you haven’t already, try emailing some of your favorite feminist authors (eg. jezebel) to see if they are interested in productive engagement.

  18. Welcome, superflygirrrl, in the world of the open-minded. Enjoy your stay.

    Karl is not smart for a sexist. He is smart. Period. Very, VERY smart. I have a masters degree in Electrical Engineering and work in and on hi-tech devices. And Karl is very VERY smart even compared to me. I have met Karl in person; he is preternaturally polite, very level-headed and kind, and also a total racist, sexist, elitist, cis-normativist, hetero-normativist, and a bunch of other haterz-ists that haven’t even been invented yet. He is constitutionally incapable of tooting his own horn, so I had to toot it for him!

    And yes he single-handedly does all of Radish. And no, he he’s nowhere near 40.

    BTW, since superflygirrrl you’re embarking on a journey in this Reactionary world, you must know that we, the Few—the Reactionaries—do not accept that words like racist and sexist have any real denotative meaning. Please look them up on google ngrams. (racist, sexist). Racism was a word invented (yes invented by Trotsky himself) in the 1930s to tar normal but insufficiently progressive people with a scientific sounding pathology. He wanted to connote bigot, i.e., irrational prejudice, but that is easy to disprove for the vast mass of normal people, whom he genuinely wanted to push toward greater Universalism and loathing for ones own dominant people group. What can I say? It worked like a charm, especially among those of high verbal IQ in the 1950s thru 70s. Reactionaries see through this language game and interpret “racist” for what it really means: an emotion-laden epithet akin to “poopyhead”, the use of which tells us far more about the speaker than the subject of his communication.

    The picture for sexist is very similar, but later. It comes out of nowhere in the 60s. Reactionaries consider this word in the same light: Poopyhead. We can run the same exercise with “homophobe” and “heteronnormativism”… bla bla bla.

    Controlling the narrative… it’s nice work if ya can get it. And just Who is doing that controlling on behalf of Whom? Well if you think it is poopyheaded, poopyheaded, poopyheaded, poopyheaded, angry white men? Boy-o-boy, aren’t you in for a surprise!!


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